Forgive Who?

Thank you for joining us today. Today’s post is important because our spiritual, emotional and physical well being can be affected by our response to the command we have to ‘forgive’ in the Word of God. As always, ask the Holy Spirit to give you revelation of the truth presented today. Eric

Today’s blog topic is one of great importance to our spiritual, emotional and physical well-being. As long as we live in this fallen world with others who, like us, are born with a sin nature, we have the potential to offend or be offended by something that is done or said to one another.

Intentionally or unintentionally, we or the people we interact with are going to cause each other an offense, pain or hurt.

Romans 3:23 (ESV) reveals, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” When Adam and Eve disobeyed God (Genesis 3), their disobedience introduced sin into the world. No one is righteous. (Romans 3:10). All of us mess up - none is/was perfect except Jesus. This truth is revealed in Hebrews 9:14, “…much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins…”

We are going to be looking at two equally important aspects of forgiveness today. The first is ‘self-forgiveness.’ Why is forgiveness so vitally important? We have been instructed that if we do not forgive, the Lord will not forgive us.

More than once, we have had someone share with us that they felt their sin was so grievous to those they hurt or to the Lord that they either did not deserve to be forgiven, wouldn’t be forgiven or couldn’t forgive themselves.

“Sometimes, some might think it is repentant or laudable to refuse to forgive ourselves, as if our punishment of ourselves will atone for our sins. That is NOT the message of the gospel. The Word of God clearly reveals that we can never make up for our own sins.” (gotanswers.org).

It is normal to feel guilty and remorseful when we have hurt or caused pain to someone. However, “when your guilt and remorse turns to shame, you could begin to see yourself as a bad person which can lead to worthlessness, depression and aggression.” (gotquestions.org).

My wife and I have ministered deliverance to those who have received a lot of rejection in their life. We have discovered that rejection can lead to self-rejection which then, can cause one to be consumed with anger, rage and even murder. If you allow self-rejection to take a foot-hold in your life, it could lead to shame and an overwhelming sense of regret. Not only will it affect you, it will affect your family and all of those around you.

“The apostle Paul set an example of forgiving oneself. He had been a violent persecutor of the church. Rather than live in shame and regret over what he had done, or think that God could not use him, or constantly remind himself of his sins, he accepted the Lord’s forgiveness and spread the gospel broadly.” (got questions.org).

We must realize also that we have an enemy whose entire desire is to kill, steal and destroy us. One of his strategies is to use memory recall to keep us bound in grief, guilt, sorrow or shame.

Donna (my wife) and I had opportunity to minister to a woman who had not been able to be set free from misplaced guilt for the death of her grandmother. When her grandmother was driving to attend Joanie’s high school musical concert, she died in an automobile accident. For nearly thirty years, Joanie was never able to think about or mention her grandmother without breaking down in tears because she wrongly felt responsible for her grandmother’s death. Joanie felt if her grandmother had not been going to her concert, her grandmother would not have died. She was unable to ‘forgive’ herself for her grandmother’s death.

Praise God though, at the end of our ministry time with her, we spent some time fellowshipping and talking with Joanie. All of a sudden, she realized that she had mentioned her grandmother and for the first time in thirty years shared a happy memory. She did not break down from a consuming grief and false sense of responsibility for what had taken place on that highway!

Even though our sins can have genuine and often heartbreaking consequences, living in shame or even false guilt will not fix a broken relationship of remove the harm you have done. However, the truth of the gospel can.

We have also discovered that, if we do not Biblically deal with our sin, we will give the enemy a foothold to continue to bring conflict, trouble and distress to our lives.

There are steps we should take to deal with our sin. We need to take responsibility and accept that we have engaged in actions that have hurt others. Secondly, we need to show remorse for what happened. Then, we try to avoid being self-critical and instead be compassionate, even with ourselves, while still acknowledging that we made a mistake and want to do better.

Basically, these steps can be seen in 1 John 1:9 (ESV), “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” We read in Acts 3:19 in the NIV, “Repent then turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” To ‘repent’ means to turn away from. We stop the offending behavior and stop doing it.

Philippians 3:13 and 14 (NIV) instructs us, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” “If our standard or expectation for forgiveness is more stringent than God’s standard, who then is the god in our life? Self-forgiveness requires the full acceptance of God’s love for us and a willingness to depend fully and only on God’s perspective. (Crosswalk.com).

These golden nuggets are taken from billlygraham.org:

“If you’ve committed your life to Jesus and are trusting Him for salvation, God has forgiven you fully and freely!”

“Don’t trust your feelings. They are not dependable and will only lead you astray.”

“Trust God for He cannot lie and has promised to forgive.”

Then, I love these portions of Scripture: 1 John 3:19b and 20 (NIV), “…we set our hearts at rest in His presence: 20 If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts…”

The second aspect of forgiveness which we will look at briefly today is ‘forgiving others.’

Again, forgiveness is of great importance to our spiritual, emotional and physical well-being. God is very clear about how we should deal with the hurt we receive from others. We are to forgive them just as He has forgiven us.

Jesus gave us the greatest example as He bore our deserved penalty for sin, as He hung on a criminal’s cross, in our place. He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34).

There is no wrong that could ever come against us that is too great to forgive. If God, through Jesus, can forgive us for our wrongs toward Him, then we can forgive others. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) instructs us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

‘Forgiveness,’ charizomai is derived from charis meaning grace of favor. ‘Grace’ means extending favor and properly means to extend favor and to grant forgiveness (pardon).

Forgiveness is vital because we have been instructed in the Word of God that if we do not forgive others that Christ will not forgive us.

To define forgiveness, we read in Kingdom Dynamics in the NSFLB that “forgiveness is an act in which one person releases another from an offense, refraining to enact the penalty due him or her, refusing to sustain consideration of the cause of the offense and refusing to allow that offense to affect the relationship. To forgive is not to condone the sin as acceptable, to say it made no difference or to license repetition.” Extending forgiveness personally does not nullify the necessity for justice through our legal system for heinous crimes. Rather, forgiveness is a choice - a decision made to no longer hold an offense against another person or group.

We need to be aware that: “Unforgiveness also causes spiritual turmoil that hinders a believer’s growth. It can stifle prayer and turn worship dry and hypocritical. It’s difficult to effectively honor the Lord while trying to justify or hide a wrong attitude. Resentment dampens a person’s witness. Forgiving means giving up bitterness and the ‘right’ to get even, even though you were wronged. God insists on forgiveness, not just for the other’s benefit, but for ours. God knows that hostility and vengeance can cause havoc in our lives and by association, in the lives of those near us, and He wants to protect us from it.” (In Touch Ministries).

I encourage you strongly to read our previous post which we wrote entitled, “Forgiveness” posted on 9/30/21. In it, we share quotes from the Mayo Clinic regarding the ‘effects of unforgiveness’ as well as the ‘benefits of forgiving.’

I believe the best way to deal with offenses and the need for forgiveness is what I call ‘walking’ in forgiveness. In other words, to take no offense to begin with. Do not take or let what others say or do personally, and thus offend you. We could also call this ‘walking’ in love. To do this, we need to look at the Scriptural definition of love. We read in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a in the Amplified Bible what verse 5 of this passage reveals: “love is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor easily sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured.”

If we do not take offense at what others say or do, we have no need to forgive them.

We would be ‘walking’ in forgiveness!

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” (Martin Luther King Jr.).

Help us Lord to forgive ourselves and others!

ESV English Standard Version

NIV New International Version

NSFLB New Spirit Filled Life Bible